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24 August 2011

Cutesweetalker...where are you???

A good friend of mine reminded me of a screen name I used to use waaaaayyy back in my high school years. A name that I utilized for a while to really sum up what I was at that time. That name was cutesweetalker (cutesweettalker) just wow. The one thing I hate to admit is I've been roaming on social sites for at least a good 10+ years. Blackplanet, migente, myspace, onlinebootycall, yahoo personals, and now facebook, twitter, linked in, tumblr and my blog here. Shit, you'd think I'd have more "internet friends" then what I have now. Regardless, cutesweetalker stuck because of the obvious reasons. I'm cute, and my specialty was sweet talking women to gain their interest. It wasn't "game" was the truth expressed in creative ways.

I bring this up now because I'm lost on the whereabouts of that individual. I've gotten away from the kind of person I used to be but not completely. I tend to assist anyone that I care about, but I don't demonstrate my romantic side as much as I use to. If there's one thing I know, cutesweetalker was as romantic as they come....big ol teddy bear.

So this is a shout out to cutesweetalker...I'mma need you to turn your latitude on, pimpin. I kinda need ya!


Few know about my passion for writing and lately it's been sealed away in a box in the pits of unmotivated non-inspiration. My time has been divided between work, family, and mind relaxation, a time consumption percentage breakdown of about 80%, 15%, and 5%, respectively. LOL, I've always wanted to use "respectively" in actual application. NICE!!!
Anyway, a while ago, i posted a video on Facebook that showed my rapping skills...or lack thereof lol. Either way, I'm giving up the desire to actually make it in the rap game. I mean, when you look at the big picture, so many skilled rappers don't even make it....the success rate is worse then the probability of hitting the lottery.
That doesn't mean I'm completely giving it up, cuz I'm one 4 loko night away from dropping a few verses. What it does mean is I'm not spending as much time on it as I normally was. My time will be devoted to my books and poems.

My Current Project list:

The Owner of my Soul IV - 126 pages written, about 38% complete.
Untitled Story - 76 pages written, about 26% complete.
Short story/Poem compilation - Recycling old poems, writing new ones, 10% complete.
3rd Book - Brainstorming stage, 0% complete

As you can see, I've gotten nowhere in the past year. I was hoping I'd at least be done with something by now. Instability can do that to you. No matter. Tomorrow I'll get a bottle of crown royal and this weekend I'll try to complete something....well, not complete, but show progress.

Women....y'all are something else!

I almost have no choice but to dive into this topic because it's been eating at me for a while. I've been avoiding talking about it because it was a debate I didn't want to have, but after the stream of man-hating statuses and articles I've seen lately, I have to speak on it.

Men get a bad rep for a lot of things....well, I guess that's not completely true. We're assholes, play games, unfaithful, and just flat out refuse to evolve. That's a fact that everyone knows. Here's my issue....women want a man that isn't about games, yet fall for a man's game more often then not. There's a reason it's called GAME and is the ultimate measuring stick among men. Men look to fuck as many women as they can, especially 7s and up on that 1-10 scale. The exceptions to this is when a man finds wifey. True, he may cheat on you before realizing you're wifey, but you should damn near expect that. Obviously this doesn't apply to all men...just those thug types that women crave so much and then want to act all surprised when he does something that everyone told you he was going to do.

But this isn't about men and their imperfections. This is about women's imperfections that show y'all can be just as evil and, in most cases, more. That's pertaining to the gold diggers, sugar babies, and trifling ass females that have no problem taking a man's money while fuckin around wit another dude. Or the wives of soldiers that start wildin out when their man is deployed to combat zones. Y'all are the worse, by the way. In second place is the kind of woman that plays wit your emotions to get what she wants, feeding you sob stories yet really has no interest in you at all. Out of all these things, y'all have the nerve to say men ain't shit and wanting to just fuck wit other women....yea ok. Stop and think about the possibility that maybe it's you. Maybe you're the problem. Maybe you need to reconsider the type of man you should be dating...either that or deal with the fact that the type of man you're attracted to, tends to be the type that will do you wrong.

Face it, we all have our flaws, but love is flawless. Instead of thinking you're in love with the wrong man/woman, try to figure out what it is about that person that has you in love. There's a thin line between love and lust. Lust is usually always is soul deep. If you tell someone you love them, yet can cut them out of your life at the drop of a hat, well, that's not love at all. Love is hard to let go....lust is like having a short attention lose interest once that person is no longer interesting, or something more interesting comes along. Let's stop the shit talk about genders in general and keep it aimed at the one you're wit.



Yea, I've titled this MIA - Missing In Action, due to the fact that I've all but abandoned this blog. I've been silent for almost 7 months not because of a lack of shit to say, but merely for a lack of a desire to say it. Today, as I'm wrapped with a blanket, fighting a cold and listening to the Re-Up, I felt the need to just re-acquaint myself with my forgotten blog. 2011 is flying by and so are my 20s in general. My body is feeling older each day as my back and left knee continue to give me problems. My motivation for much of anything has been MIA all on it's own. Maybe it's the situation I'm in that is having me in a rut. Either way, I'm here...alive and well. It's not to gain an internet social life since I work too much for a real one. What does that mean? I'm not sure yet. I just hope I gain more followers as time passes. So tonight, I shall post several....posts... to almost play catch up. So, here I go....

DISCLAIMER: I'm taking the gloves off and speaking my mind like never before because I no longer care if I piss people off. In fact, I think I want to piss people off. Let the debates begin.

04 February 2011

Owner of My Soul Part IV Teaser

If you don't kno yet, I'm writing a series based on a character created back in my childhood. With this character, I've narrated several stories that were combined for a series. Since that series has been published, I'm now beginning to finish my next section in my story. What goes on in that is obviously a direct correlation to the ending of the 3rd part. So, here it is:

My cell phone started beeping, alerting me of a text message. I grabbed my phone, still a little delirious and vision a little distorted. I tried deciphering what was being said to me. I sat up to look for Sydney. A few seconds later, she walked through the door with breakfast.
“Good morning, baby.” She said with a big smile.
“Good morning, love.” I said back. “I got a text saying the kids were coming back from camp Friday.”
“Yes they are.”
“What camp are they at?”
“SJ Computers for Advanced Youths.”
“Nice. When will the twins be back?”
“My mother will be bringing them tomorrow.”
“Wait…..your mother?” I repeated.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry. My mother has been here almost the entire time you were in your coma. She wanted to help me out with the kids.”
“Where is she staying?”
“At the house, of course. I know it’s been like 15 years since you’ve seen her.”
“Somewhere around there.” I grabbed my cart and adjusted my IV feed.
“In a little pain?” She asked, noticing what I was doing.
“A little.” I got up and walked to the table.
“You didn’t have to come over here, I was going to bring you your food.” She stated.
“I need the exercise.”
“I got you some French toast, steak, hash browns, beef bacon and beef sausage. You want strawberry lemonade or orange juice to drink?”
“Orange juice.”
“Awesome.” She handed me a plate and my drink.
“This doesn’t look like cafĂ© food.” I commented.
“It’s IHOP. Only the best for my baby.” She leaned over the table and kissed me.
“Thank you, love.” As I started to eat, my phone started ringing. I looked at it, ignored it, and started eating.
“Who was it, Kabe?” She asked. If you haven’t noticed, “Kabe” is a name she gave me to combine my name and baby. From now on, try to keep up.
“Why didn’t you answer?”
“I’m not in the mood for his bullshit right now. I’ll call him back when I’m done eating.”
“You can’t keep avoiding him though.” She stated.
“I won’t. I promise I’ll call him later.”
“Now, Mr. Johnson, I know you better than that.”
I grinned, “I know, but this time I’m serious.”
“Ok.” We continued eating. I grabbed my phone and started texting Will.
“So tonight is the game, are you going to go?” She asked.
“Probably not. I really don’t want to draw attention until my press conference.” I said.
“What press conference? When did you schedule that?”
“Just now. I can’t tell you what it is about, but it will be quite an event.” I stated.
“When is your father announcing the trade?” She wondered.
“They aren’t. Will and I are going to.”
“Is that what the press conference is about?”
“Stop fishing baby, I’m not catching your hook.” I said with a smile.
“Ok, ok.” She said with a smile as well.
I started going through my many emails on my phone to see what was going on at work. Some I replied to, some I laughed at, but most I ignored. I then went to my personal email and mostly deleted those.
“I swear, every time you get in business mode………”

“You get this irresistible look that makes me soooooo wet.”
I look up, unaware that I’m now staring into the eyes of Alicia. I look around and notice I’m in her room. Is this a memory I’m reliving, or something else? What’s the deal…..seriously?
“Are you ok, baby?” She asked me.
“I don’t know.”
“Confused, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re wondering why you keep seeing me.”
Now I’m really puzzled. Yes, I was thinking that for damn sure, but how does she know that?
“Kenny, these aren’t memories.” She clarified.
“What the hell are they?” I asked.
“I don’t know. There’s really no way to simplify it.”
“No disrespect, but you’ve been dead for a long time. Why am I starting to just recently see you?”
“Think about it, Kenny. When’s the last time you went through what you just went through? Not in perfect replication but having something catastrophic happen to someone you love with all your heart. Something that never happened with Monique, how ironic huh?”
“Extremely ironic, but I don’t get what’s really going on.” I proclaimed.
“Baby, your sub-conscious is going bonkers, for lack of a better term. You lost me prematurely and can’t get over it, no matter how much you try. You even compare Sydney to me every single day.”
“No I don’t.” I said, completely being dishonest with myself.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She stood up and sat on my lap.
“If you’re not really here, why does this feel so real?”
“Is it hard to really believe that your subconscious knows me so well to the point it can fool you into thinking that I’m really here? There are several things you’ll never be able to forget. For example….” She started brushing up and down my arm, “you’ll never be able to forget my touch.” She approached my ear to whisper, “you’ll never forget the smell of my hair, one of the many things that turned you on.” She started to kiss my neck, over to my lips. Her lips were so soft. Fuck, why does she have to do this to me? “More than anything, I know you remember my kiss.” She whispered in my ear. “Just like I remember your di—“
“Ok, I get your point.” I interrupted her, moving back a little so I can see directly into her eyes. “Obviously my mind has the capabilities to project you as I remember you. My question is why am I doing it?”
“Only you have the answer to that, Kenny. I was your first true love, maybe your only true love. Sydney is there with you, yet you can’t stop wondering if you want to marry her. You can’t help but hope that I’m alive somewhere and will come home to you someday. No matter how easily you tell yourself that you watched me die and there’s no way I’m ever coming back, you still hope. I will always love you and wish things were different. But, baby, you have to let me go!”
“I CAN’T! I want to more than anything, but I just can’t! You were ripped away from me so fast, just when we were finally going to be together. There’s so many things that I regret from that moment. So many things I regret in my dealings with you.”
The tears streamed down my face as everything that I thought I suppressed, came back up. The hurt that her accident caused, the ignorance and immaturity that I expressed in my decision to not get tied down….all of it.
“I’m sorry, Kenny.” She said softly.
“Alicia,” I put my hand on her cheek and wiped the tear from her eye with my thumb. She held my hand and kissed my palm.”Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m not sure what I want. Maybe I really do keep comparing her to you and that’s why I can’t move on. I can’t help it. You were absolutely perfect.”
“So is Sydney. You’ve loved her before you even met me.”
“I loved her before I knew what love was, but you opened my eyes to what it truly is. Yes, she’s perfect, but she’s not you.”
“It’s time you stop looking for my replacement. You’ll never be happy if you keep trying to find someone better than me. You’ve set your expectations and standards so high…I mean I think the pedestal you’ve placed me on is unreachable even for me.”
“You are that perfect to me. Your beauty, your personality, your drive….everything about you, Alicia, I absolutely loved.”
“What are you saying, Kenny?”
“Let’s face it. This has really opened my eyes. I know what I must do.”

19 January 2011

Untitled Preview #1

The following is a preview of a new story I've been working on. Maybe not much lately, but it's about a fifth written. I don't have a title for it yet, but hopefully one day I'll continue writing it.

After dinner, I, again, left the palace grounds to take a walk. Again, the group of kids were having a tournament. I watched in the shadows, not to be noticed. They seemed so free. I was envious of the freedom they had. I then felt a presence behind me and quickly turned around with my hand on my dagger, ready to unsheathe.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Acena said. “I’m sure war has you paranoid.”
“Very.” I replied. I looked at her up and down and gazed into her eyes. “I never had a chance to apologize for lying about who I am.”
“I understand why you did.” She walked up to me and leaned against the haystack. “I knew you were familiar to me.” She swayed her hair behind her ear. “What’s it like being future king?”
“Well,” I began as I leaned against the haystack, “it’s a lot of work. From dawn to dusk I have an agenda. I train for 4 hours a day in combat.” I looked up at the palace. “Sometimes I wonder if I can actually handle it all.” Acena looked at the palace and then around our immediate area.
“Come on, I want to show you something.”
She took my hand and led me through the village. We then started going through the forest onto a hilltop. There, I saw a view I’ve never seen before.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“My father told me that ever since your father took over this land, it’s flourished.” She replied. “Everything grew again including things that never grew before. I come here wondering what it would be like if it never happened.”
“Why would you wonder such a thing?” She looked at the ground.
“Before my family moved into the village, they stayed out there. I lost most of my family to war, torture, and starvation. My mother’s sister was raped over and over and over again by the king’s soldiers.” She looked at me. “My brother was beheaded in front of me when I was 4. They murdered him for protecting me.”
“Protecting you from what?”
“From them.” She wiped her eyes as tears streamed down. “At the age of four, all the girls were raped by the soldiers. To a point where they could never bear a child. When my brother found out it was my turn, he fought and fought to make sure it never happened. They beheaded him.” She paused. “They grabbed me and….”
“Please, you don’t have to say any more.” I took her hand and embraced her. She lied on my shoulder and cried. “I’m sorry about what happened to you and your family.” She stopped crying and looked at me.
“Don’t be. For if it wasn’t for your father, it would have been worse.” She replied. “Only one of them got me. Your father and his soldiers saved us, driving King Liscum away from these lands.” She looked at her hand and smiled. “He offered his hand to me and carried me to his carriage.” She looked out at the land. “He consoled me and talked to me the entire ride into the village. He told me about you. I can never forget that. I’m grateful to him.” I thought about that.
“So my father knows you?” I asked.
She replied, “I don’t know.” She started walking away. I followed her. “It was so long ago, he probably doesn’t remember me.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Anyway, how do you feel about getting married?” I looked at her.
“How do you know about that?” I wondered.
“Come on, Orius, every one knows about that.” She responded. “You’re the prince, after all, who wouldn’t know about your wedding?”
“I guess you have a point.” I looked up at the palace. “I don’t like the idea of marrying someone I barely know.”
“Hear you there. I saw her though. She’s very pretty.”
“Yea, she is.” I then looked at her. “But she’s nothing compared to you.” She looked at me in amazement.
“You’re just saying that.” She said.
“I wish. Maybe that would make things easier. But ever since I laid eyes on you that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. When I met her for the first time, I immediately compared her to you.” I stopped walking and took her hand. “You have no equal. Your beauty is comparable to a goddess.” I could hear a horn blaring. I looked at the palace and down at our hands interlocked.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, not hearing the horn.”
“I have to go.” I looked up at her. “I hope to see you again, soon.” I started to walk away, but she pulled me back to her and kissed me. In a minor bit of surprise, I kissed her back. Her lips were so soft, tongue so smooth. She stopped and looked at me. I looked at her.
“I hope to see you as well.” She replied. I smiled and nodded. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as I took steps backwards. I finally mustered the ability to turn away and run to the palace.

When I got to the palace, Father was on his horse and had mine next to him.
“Where have you been, Orius?” He asked me.
“I was…” I began to answer.
“Never mind that. We have business to attend to.” He said. Guards handed me my armor and weapons. “How’s your arm?”
“Are you sure? Can you fight?”
“With my eyes closed.” I replied, which brought a smile to his face. He nodded and waited for his soldiers to get on their horses.
“Let’s go!” He yelled. He led the way and I followed.
We rode out of the village and down a trail towards Desert Grove. I looked on the ground and saw so many dead. Women and children….dead. I became angry quickly. I then saw men on horses.
“Are they whom we’re after, Father?” I yelled.
“No, those are my scouts. They’re going to direct us to the village that these cowards are hiding in.” He replied. We followed the scouts.
We arrived at a hilltop above the village. We got off our horses and waited for Father’s instructions.
“They’re all soldiers. Kill every man there. Women and children are off limits.” He ordered. “Orius, you take Squad A and go to the right. Squad B will come with me.” We all nodded and set out.
I looked around and saw a guard on post. I pulled out my dagger and aimed. He looked in the opposite direction we were in and I threw the dagger into the back of his neck. He fell off the tower and didn’t move. I looked around to make sure no one was coming. I went to the dead guard and took my dagger back. I motioned to the squad to split up. They broke up into teams and started raiding houses, killing the men in each. I looked at the biggest house and knew the leader was in there. I ran to it and saw three guards guarding it. I snuck up behind one and slit his throat. I looked for the second one.
When I spotted him, I grabbed him and slit his throat as well. The third guard noticed me, but before he did or said anything, I stabbed him in the heart. I wiped my dagger clean with the guard’s clothing and looked into the house. I could see three men, 4 women, and no children. I unsheathed my sword and went into the house. I threw my dagger at one man. The leader sat in his chair, surprised. The other man, his guard I presume, unsheathed his sword and attacked me. I blocked each of his attacks and stabbed him in the heart. The women screamed, fearing for their lives.
“Run, now!!!” I yelled to the women. They ran out of the house. I looked at the leader.
“Who are you?” He asked me in fear. At that moment, Father and his soldiers came into the house.
“Well, Orius, a little anxious, are we?” He jokingly asked me. He looked at the leader. “It seems you have lost your mind again, Liscum.” That name sounds familiar.
“Noregus, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” Father took steps towards him.
“Ok, I do. Please, show mercy.” He cried. I kept trying to figure out why his name sounded so familiar.
“My mercy is no longer available to you.” Then it hit me.
“You’re former King Liscum of the Tindal Plains?” I asked. He looked at me and then back at Father.
“Noregus, please….” He begged, ignoring me altogether. I took steps forward.
“I asked you a question.” I said sternly. “Are you that Liscum?”
“That is no concern of yours, little boy.” He replied.
“That’s my son you’re speaking to.” Father told him.
“Oh so this is the future ruler?” He looked at me up and down. “Yes, I’m that Liscum.” He replied.
“The one that murdered, raped, and tortured women and children?” I asked. He looked at me sourly.
“You know nothing.” He said. I approached him and stabbed him in the heart.
“ORIUS!?!?!” Father yelled, pulling me back. I looked at Liscum fall to the ground and struggle to hold on to his life. “What has gotten into you?” Father asked me. I then pulled away from him and stabbed Liscum again, again, and again, ensuring his death. Father pulled me off of his dead corpse and punched me. I looked at him, almost like it had no affect. “Wait outside.” He ordered. I stood there looking into his eyes and then walked away. I went back up the hilltop to the horses. I sat there and waited, calming down. Father finally came and approached me.
“I’m sorry, Father.” I told him.
“What was that about?” He asked.
“I was told a story today. I was told the things that he did or ordered to be done.”
“I see.” He sat down next to me. “Liscum did a lot of awful things. I don’t blame you for your reaction.”
“Father, do you remember a young girl by the name of Acena?” I asked him.
“Acena?” He thought about it. “Ah, yes, Acena. One of Liscum’s many victims. Had we not arrived when we did, she may have been dead.” He looked at me. “How do you know of her?”
“I met her before the war. I was with her today before you called for me. She’s the one that told me everything.” I told him.
“Everything she said is true. I guess y’all are the same age, huh.” He looked at the village.
“Father, I don’t think I can marry Gwen.” I confessed. He looked at me and saw the sincerity in my eyes.
“Has Acena had that type of affect on you?” He asked me.
“Only in the sense that I’m curious about her. She may be better for me then Gwen.” I looked at the sky. “Don’t get me wrong, Gwen is a very beautiful young woman… for any king. I just don’t know if she’s the one for me.”
“How do you know Acena is?” He asked me.
“Honestly, Father, I don’t.” He took another deep breath.
“What are you suggesting, my son?” Father asked.
“I really don’t know. I guess I’m looking for advice.” I replied.
“Tell you what, we’ll delay the wedding for a little while longer. We’ll take a trip out to Ivan’s kingdom and pay Gwen a visit. Maybe spending more time with her will dispel doubts or ignite your feelings toward Acena.”
“And if I want Acena?”
“Then you want Acena.” He stood up as our horses were brought to us. “You must realize something. Without a strong wife, your kingdom will fall. If you don’t feel Gwen is strong enough for you, then you need to explore other candidates. There’s plenty of talent out there.”
“Yes, Father.” I acknowledged as I stood up.

When we got back to the palace, Father immediately told our servants to pack for our departure. I walked into the palace and went straight to my room. I had no idea what to expect or what to do when Gwen and I were together. I was sure this was the best thing to do. I stared at myself in the mirror. I smiled at my reflection, pleased with what I saw. I turned and looked out the window. Nothing was going on besides plenty of work being done. No sign of Acena either. Then a knock on my door.
“Enter.” I replied, not turning away from the window.
“Orius, you didn’t come see me when you got home.” Mother stated.
“My apologies, Mother.” I approached her and gave her a hug.
“Your father tells me you want to visit Gwen.” I nodded. “Do you really believe seeing her will make you feel more comfortable about marrying her?”
“I hope so.” I turned around and looked out the window again. “Mother, I honestly don’t know what to think.”
Mother stood next to me and admired the outdoors. She smiled and took my hand.
“Follow your heart. You’ve been given a choice by your father to do what makes you happy. Not many get this opportunity.” She stated. “It shows how much your father loves you and cares about your future.”
I nodded in agreement. She embraced me and kissed my cheek.
“Thank you, Mother.” I told her.
“It’s what I’m here for, my prince. Never forget how much I love you.”
“Never.” I smiled. I kissed her hand and watched her walk out my room.

Father and I arrived to a warm welcome at the Ivan Kingdom. King Ivan and Gwen met us at the castle steps.
“Sorry to intrude on you in such short notice.” Father said to Ivan. “Seems your daughter has made a bigger impression on Orius then anyone can expect.”
“Not a problem. You’re always welcomed here.” Ivan replied.
They led us into the castle, giving us a quick tour of the place.
“This is the Hall of Fortune.” Ivan explained. “Every treasure my family has come across in the many battles we’ve been engaged in is exhibited in this hall.”
“This is a nice sword.” I stated.
“You have a very good eye.” Ivan complimented. “This sword was recovered after the fall of the Jin Siu dynasty several decades ago.”
“Did you lead that army?” I asked.
“My father did before I was born.” He replied.
“Don’t get him started on that story.” Gwen whispered to me. “He’ll never shut up.” I chuckled to that.
“Gwen, how would you like to take Orius on a personal tour?”
“It’d be my pleasure, Father.” She replied bowing. “Master Orius.” She held her hand out. I took it and followed her lead.
She led me into her personal training quarters. Weapons were against the walls, almost taunting me to pick one up.
“Master Orius, may I ask you something?” Gwen said to me.
“Anything.” I replied.
“Why are you really here?”
“To see you.”
“Why else?”
“Nothing else.” She looked at me in disbelief. I sighed and took her hand. “Gwen, I really wanted to spend more time with you. Not only to get to know each other more, but to really see what you’re like.”
“Are you unsure of me?”
“Not at all. I’m fairly sure you’ll meet and exceed my expectations.”
She grinned and walked towards the wall. She grabbed two spears, tossing me one. She removed her outer garments, revealing tighter clothing that just….well….turned me on.
“Would you please give me the pleasure of fighting you?” She asked.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” I replied.
“Father told me the type of person you are.”
“What do you mean?”
“You love to fight. You crave it; relish it; addicted to it.”
“Yes, that may be, but why would I fight you?”
“For your love.”
“My love?”
“You’ll know what I mean soon enough.”
At that moment, she charged at me. A little off guard, when she thrust her spear towards me, I barely dodged it, catching my clothing. That close, she threw an elbow at me. After blocking that, her attacks became quicker. She studied almost the same arts as me; each one coming closer and closer to landing. Her spear skills were flawless. Just when it seemed I was able to predict everything she would do, her style switched. At that moment, she landed a couple good punches starting with the gut, jaw, and a kick to the leg.
On one knee, she waited for me to get up. Yes. I was very impressed. I stood up with a grin on my face. I got into a fighting stance and motioned her to charge. When she did, I predicted all her moves. When she switched her style again, she succeeded in knocking my spear out my hands. Sensing her opportunity, she thrust her spear at me. I grabbed it, swept her legs right from under her, pulled out my dagger and held it against her neck. She was in complete shock.
“I see what you mean now.” I told her.
“As far as what?” She asked.
“My love.” I gazed into her eyes with a smile. “You have my love, Gwen.”
She grinned and kissed me. I kissed her back. I dropped my dagger and wrapped my arms around her. She then stopped.
“Should we even be doing this?” She asked.
“I don’t know. I’m just going with it. I’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“You have no idea how bad I want to do this, but aren’t we supposed to wait until our wedding night?”
“You may be right.”
We stared into each other’s eyes. Her fingers were going across my arms. My hand was caressing her cheek. We had no idea what we should do but our body language was starting to make the decision for us.
“I don’t think I can wait until our wedding day.” I told her.
“Neither can I.” She replied.
“What do you suppose we do about that?” I asked her.
“I belong to you, My Lord. Mind, body and soul. You can have me whenever you like.”
“I want you now.”
“I want you now.” She agreed. “Don’t make me beg you to take me.”
We started kissing again. I started undressing her and vice versa. I was in slight disbelief because I would have never expected this to occur. I was powerless to stop it. I also didn’t want to.

18 January 2011

Two Headed Monster

I recognize it, yet I don’t react/I stay steady, unfazed by it all/Remaining on course, can’t be shaken/Focused; Fearless; Determined; Immersed
What remains is an unfaltering man/Close minded to criticism; open to objection/Seeking things that has no definitive answer
His journey never ends; even beyond death/Who is this man failing to hold true to the definition/Who is this man drilling into your love
Is he trustworthy? Is he loyal to the cause?/I can only imagine the thoughts in your mind/I can only anticipate what you may be feeling
Your fears are misplaced and misguided/For this is not a perfect man that you are viewing/For the personification of perfection is nothing but divergent thinking
In the excogitation of this man the truth will be evident

It's a two headed monster that has you so derranged/should I stay....Should I go/Is he real...Is he fake/Lord I don't know

It's a two headed monster that has you so entrapped/Is he lying....Is he honest/Is he faithful....Is he fornicating/Lord I don't know

This man is not perfect; yet your attraction is not erroneous/His flaws may be major; but you discount them/This man has hurt you in ways that you don’t deserve
Why do you take him back? Why do you accept it?/Maybe because you can see the truth of his mind/I recognize it, yet I can’t react
I’m wobbly, disconcerted by it all/Falling off course, easily shaken/Wandering; Timid; Hesitating; Short-Sighted/What remains is an unstable mentally dead individual
Weakened by criticism; Out of touch with reality/Seeking answers to infinite things he should know/His journey is flawed; destined to die alone
This man is the stereotype of a man/This man is falling out of your love/He’s not trustworthy. He’s not loyal to you/You’re aware of him. He’s unaware of himself
In a downward spiral; His chances are running out

It's a two headed monster that has you so derranged/Should I stay.....Should I go/Is he real....Is he fake/Lord I don't know

It's a two headed monster that has you so entrapped/Is he lying....Is he honest/Is he faithful....Is he fornicating/Lord I don't know

What does he do from this point on? What’s left?
Every action scrutinized to the point of feeling choked
Will he change? Will I change? Will it be too late?
Only time will tell; Hopefully your patience doesn’t wear



It feels like it’s just me
The movement, the feeling
Yet I can see you here with me
I can touch you and taste you
Every move comes an opposition
I move left, you move right
It’s like looking in the mirror
My lips extend as does yours
Each second that passes further confirms
I’m not touching myself
I’m not breathing in my own aroma
I’m not hearing myself speak
The way we move is so in sync
It feels like we are one
The way our bodies intertwine
There’s nothing that feels so invigorating
Nothing that makes me feel so alive
I live to please you, and you I
We meet each other in the middle
Doing things that can’t be compared
Exploring every inch of each other
Tasting every bit of one another
Every bit of pleasure solidifying
The extent of how much we intertwine
My arms extend with yours from up to out
My voice gives way with yours from every shout
Chest to chest, hand to hand, lips to lips
I feel your climax coming closer with each kiss
I can’t stop, you won’t allow it
You’re almost there, my name floating in the air
Deeper, fuller, please baby, I can’t leave
I can’t separate from your touch
You’re unique, love, beyond divine
Maybe it’s our souls that’s truly intertwined

08 January 2011

Owner of My Soul Preview #1

I've been writing for over a decade now....I can proudly say that with nothin to really show for I have books published on, but it's not enough if no one knows about it. So why not do a lil marketing on my blogs.

Owner of My Soul is a story that was created based on characters that my brother and I created when we were kids. When I started writing, I decided to use those characters and turn it into a series. The very first book was written when I was really young and took several years to finish. In fact, I started my 2nd one before that one was finished....wait, I actually think I started the 3rd one as well before I finished the 1st one.... face it, I tend to have several ideas at once that don't fit in the timeline so before I forget it, I go wit it in a new story. Anyway, what I'm saying is I've gotten away from writing the past year but will start getting back into it. I want to get everyone's support. I'm not the most talented writer, but I have a style that I won't change and I think will be appreciated.

To show what I mean, I want to include a page or so from my book to give a sample of my beginnings. Throughout the series, you'll notice the growth in my writing as well as the growth of my characters. But to start things out, we go to the beginnings. So, without delay, I present a sample of Owner of My Soul I:

“K, I gotta hand it to you,” C-Lo began, “dat partay last night was off da grid map, fa real.”
“Aye, just bring yo own bitches and er’body is happy.” I replied inducing laughs from everyone.
“Speakin of which, who was ol’gurl you was wit, Will?” DT asked.
“That is a good question.” He looked as if he was thinking about it. “I have no clue. I’m dead serious, I really can’t remember.” He replied. We all laughed.
“You beat?” Frost asked.
“Get his neck!” C-Lo said. Jodie smacked the back of Frost’s neck. “Come on now, son, askin Kenny or Will if they beat is like askin someone did they breathe today.”
“True, true.” Will said.
“Ri, ri.” I said, meaning, right, right for all of you that don’t know. “Aye, I gotta find Lisa, we’ll holla at y’all boys, lata.”
I gave er’body dap except Will, whom was comin wit me. This particular high school was the largest in the country. It was easily the size of a university and had among the best teachers to grace the education field. Graduating from this high school would propel you into any college as a sophomore or a junior if you took advanced classes. All the popular students hung out in front of the main building until homeroom began. We approached the front of the school when we found those in which we seek, but were ovasteppin boundaries.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my sista Lisa and cousin Brittany.” I said. They gave us da ill face. We then locked eyes wit da guys day were wit.
“Who you be?” Will asked the guy next to Brittany.
Brittany looked at him, then back at Will. She swung her hair behind her ear in both nervousness and embarrassment. She and Lisa both knew that they were in the wrong.
“Will, Kenny, this is my boyfriend Ronald.” She answered for him.
“And my boyfriend Tim.” Lisa said, knowing we were goin to ask her next.
“How long has dis been goin on?” Will asked.
“Nun ya business.” Brittany responded.
I smiled, “Lisa, how long dis been goin on?” I asked her calmly.
Lisa doesn’t have the testicular fortitude to lie or withhold information from me. She knows I don’t tolerate that and I’ve done too much for her. She swallowed hard and answered.
“3 months.” She said. I raised my left eyebrow Will raised his right.
“You tryin to tell me dat dis been goin on fo 3 months and I’m just getting wind of it?” She nodded. Will tapped my shoulder.
“Aye, we gotta get to homeroom.” He suggested. I nodded.
“We’ll hash this out lata. Believe that!”
I turned around and followed Will. My homeroom was one room down from his. I gave him dap and went into my room, making it two seconds befo da bell rang. The desks had assigned names and graphical pictures imprinted on them. I sat in my desk and logged in to class.
“Right on time.” Gina said to me.
Her desk is right next to mine. Her last name is Jones, so she’s been in my homeroom every year. Gina is a female that has wanted me like mosquitos want blood. Don’t get me wrong, she’s sexy, about 5’7”, nicely thick with a bangin body. The thing is, she has a long track record of STDs. I haven’t gotten one yet and I have a long list of experience. I do want to keep it that way, ya dig?
“I should say so.” I said to her.
“You look good today.” She said to me.
“Thank you, so do I.” I said, smiling.
“Don’t you mean so do I?” She asked.
“What did I say?”
“So do you.”
“Oh, then I said it right.”
“You’re so conceited.”
“I have every reason to be.”
I’m not really this conceited. I just make it known that I have no interest in her. I winked at her and turned towards the teacher as she was walking in.
“What did you get on your final report card?” Gina asked me.
“Same thing I always get.” I replied, looking at my class options.
“You telling me, you still have a 4.0?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. I’ve neva got anything less then a 100 since kindergarten.” I told her.
“How do you keep a 4.0 and still have a thug status?” She asked.
“That’s a question that is both irrelevant and pointless. I seriously neva really thought about it.”
Our homeroom teacher sent electronic schedules to our palm pilots. We’re all issued them upon enrollment. You pick the classes you want and if it’s available, you’ll get it. Your homeroom teachers let you know by giving you an official schedule. I had all honors except 3rd period, which was P.E. I wanted electrical engineering, but I guess it’s next semester.
I smiled at my schedule, “Well, at least I’ll stay in shape.”
“What otha classes you got?”
“Advanced Calculus, Advanced Physics Honors AP, and Advanced Computer Engineering.”
“Your physics class is the only thing I qualify for. I thought about taking it.”
“Yea, I should of took it last year.”
The bell rang and it was time to go to 1st period. When I got up in dare, I saw C-Lo, Will, and DT. The class was Advanced Calculus. Yes, we’re all very good in math. It’s not too often we’re in the same class. This wasn’t good behavior-wise.
“Awww, hell, if we in da same class, day mine as well put our desks outside.” Will stated.
“You aint lyin. We all know Chris don’t know how to shut up.” I said.
“Ha ha ha, aren’t you da comedian.” He replied. Laughing, I looked towards the door and had my eyes drawn to a woman I’ve neva seen before. “Aye, you seen her befo?” C-Lo asked.
“Nah.” Will answered. DT shook his head.
“Hands off, gentlemen, I got dibbs.” I said.
“Don’t want her now.” Will said.
“Yea, who wants your leftovas.” C-Lo said.
“You da last one to talk. You cut Tina afta me.” I reminded him.
“I didn’t know.” He proclaimed.
“Yea you did, because I told you.” Will added.
“I was dare too.” DT said.
“What is this, er’body gang up on Chris?”
“Aye, don’t start shit wit half truths.” Will said.
“Or no truths at all.” I added, still lookin at the mystery woman.
She had on a jersey skirt and what makes me so surprised is the fact it is my jersey. Her hair was long, like Aaliyah, and she looked a lot like Monica, but way sexier (not sayin Monica ain’t sexy because we all know she da shit). She was thick in all da right places. Her body was straight bangin.
“Class, please take your seats.” Ms. Tickle requested. “Today is the first day of the last year of high school for y’all.” Everyone started to cheer except the four of us. We barked as loud as possible. “Alright, alright, everyone calm down.” She said.
“How was your summer, Ms. Tickle? You still goin strong in your quest for no sex?” I asked her, callin her out.
The whole class laughed, even her. Before you think I be all up in her business, she used to talk about sex all last year. She’s coo as hell. She’s 35, about 5’8”, slim, divorced and has two kids. She’s been divorced for 9 years. She personally knows my father and was highly recommended by him for this job. I’ve known her for years though. She’s constantly trying to get the bad boy image out of me. Sad but true.
“Okay, settle down everyone. For your information, Mr. Johnson, I’ve gotten engaged over the summer.” The class gave her a hand. “And the sex is definitely more then I need in a lifetime.” We all cheered on that note. “Now I want to introduce everyone to a new student. She’s one of 45 new seniors in our school, and already she has on a school jersey. Give a warm Cyborg welcome to Miss Monique Williams.” The class gave her a hand, but the four of us barked real loud. “Fellas, I said give her a welcome, not a holler.” She stated.
“Sorry, that’s how we do it on da court.” I said.
“And on da field.” C-Lo added.
“Well, we’re in the classroom.” Ms. Tickle stated.
“Sorry, we tend to forget that, ma’am.” Will said.
“Uh huh, trust me, I realized that. Anyway, what was I sayin…oh yes. I need someone that is willing to take a few moments out their busy schedule to show Miss Williams around.” Almost everyone had his or her hands raised. “Wow, how can I choose?” I then made my move. I stood up.
“Ms. Tickle, may I point out that these fellas here will no doubt show Ms. Williams around, but they would harass her and try to get her “digits”.” I said, acting as proper as humanly possible. Yes, I really did do the hand gestures for quotes. Believable for most. The guys were tryin to hold in their laughter. “I assure you, if you let me show this lovely, young lady around, I guarantee she will not have a problem getting around this school and I won’t harass her.”
“You hold a strong argument, Mr. Johnson. I leave her in your hands.” I smiled and bowed.
It usually requires more convincing when it comes to volunteering for things like this. She knows what I’m about. But I’ve always wondered why she gave in so fast. Maybe she saw the same things that I did.

01 January 2011

Happy New Year

It's a new year and I must say this. My pledge to discontinue my Facebook usage when 2011 hits is still up and running, but I'm so drunk on Four Loko that I can't help but make FB statuses. Yes, I'm lit off Four Loko, the banned WA drink that I stumbled upon an hour before new years...It's amazing in it's own....BUT...that's not what this post is about. I'm taking the time to salute to 2010 by spreading my love to those that matter to me. Beside family, that I love without a shout of doubt, there are few individuals I'd like to shout out to going into the year 2011, my 25th New Year celebration!

My 1st shout out goes to Brittani Monee Ford. We been thru several ups and downs but no one matches me and my drunkitude like you. You are my best friend and I look forward to our future escapades. May they be as positive as our friendship. Much love baby girl!

My 2nd shout out goes to Brittney Szurek. Damn, I'm not even sure what to say to you. Vegas is home to me and you will always be a positive memory linked with my home. I hope everything in South Dakota works out for you, BUT look forward to our VEGAS reunion. Try to get healthy though love!

My 3rd shout out goes to Jessica and Jeff Hurckes. You've talked me into Seattle the first time I was here......I managed to get up here before 2010 came to an end. It's been cold and rainy ever since, but nothing short of beautiful. Thank you for keeping the wife happy considering I work too damn often. We will hang more and more as my availability comes up. Especially since I'm a very competitive fucker....bowling soon!!

My final shout out goes to the friends that I've made since I been in Seattle, WA. Let the drinking and poker nights continue!

Much love to all!!

Wait, I think I need to one up my cousin, Sierra, when it comes to a letter to the Family. I'm drunk off the banned Four Loko, so no time like the present time. You have my word that if I ever get rich, my ENTIRE family would be getting a piece of the pie! Until then, I can only offer my hopes and dreams. I thank all that have helped me in my time of need and in my future time of need. No matter what 2011 may bring. I love you all and hope 2011 is way more beautiful than 2010. Brent will bring prosperity to the Campbell and Miller Family!