The Mind of B

SIBLINGS: LOVE & QUARRELS I have good relationships with all my siblings, but there are times when things just don’t work out. I’m quite protective of my only full blood sister. In fact, some would say overprotective. In the end, she knows I love her and I know she loves me. We’ve had our fair share of trouble. At the same time, my other siblings have had a run in with me once or twice as well. Summer vacation before I started my last year of high school. The time when everything that could have went wrong….did. It was the first time I had a confrontation with every single sibling of mine. The first one occurring right after school let out. Like always, we were hanging out on C-Lo’s porch. Will, C-Lo, Dre, Frost, Jodie, and I sat there, rolling a blunt and drinking beer. “One more year to go, fellas.” Frost stated. We all nodded. “I’m done thinking bout it til September, yo.” I declared. “It’s all about ass and titties fa me.” “You sayin that like it ain’t been bout ass a...

UNSATISFIED I It’s a burning sensation in my heart. That’s the best way to describe it. I don’t want to do it, but the sensation doesn’t go away unless I do. I feel the guilt. I feel the shame. Every day I wish I could take it all back. Every day I wish I could tell her the truth. My fear keeps me from doing that. I can’t tell her, for I know she will leave me. I know it’ll destroy her. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried getting help. I’ve tried therapy; private and group. I’ve tried self-gratification, sometimes twice a day. I’ve tried being with my wife day in and day out. I just can’t shake it. It turns and turns inside like bad gas. Bubbly, annoying, sometimes painful. All I can do is try to get it all out my system. It’s been three years. How much more is left? How many more women must I go through to have my fill? “Would you like some more sausage, baby?” My beautiful wife said to me, snapping me out of a daze. “Yes, please.” She placed more sausage on my plate. I watc...