Unsatisfied I - formerly INFIDELITY (Short Story)

UNSATISFIED I

It’s a burning sensation in my heart. That’s the best way to describe it. I don’t want to do it, but the sensation doesn’t go away unless I do. I feel the guilt. I feel the shame. Every day I wish I could take it all back. Every day I wish I could tell her the truth. My fear keeps me from doing that. I can’t tell her, for I know she will leave me. I know it’ll destroy her.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried getting help. I’ve tried therapy; private and group. I’ve tried self-gratification, sometimes twice a day. I’ve tried being with my wife day in and day out. I just can’t shake it. It turns and turns inside like bad gas. Bubbly, annoying, sometimes painful. All I can do is try to get it all out my system. It’s been three years. How much more is left? How many more women must I go through to have my fill?

“Would you like some more sausage, baby?” My beautiful wife said to me, snapping me out of a daze.

“Yes, please.” She placed more sausage on my plate. I watched her as she did it, inhaling her wonderful aroma. When she finished, she bent down and kissed me. “Thank you, love.” I said to her. I watched her walk to the stove.

“So I got a quote about the third bathroom.”

“What’s the damage?”

“About 3 grand.”

“That’s a little less than I expected.” I stated.

“Is it a go?” She asked. She turned to me, waiting for a reply. I smiled.

“Yea, go ahead.” She approached me and gave me a big kiss.

“Thank you, baby.” She said softly.

She ran into the bedroom to make the call. I started getting ready to leave. When she came back, I gave her a hug and kiss.

“I love you and I’ll see you later.” I told her.

“I love you too. What time do you think you’ll be home?”

“It’ll be around 8 or 9. I have a conference today, so depends on how that goes.” Not to mention I have a lunch date with Sinclair and a dinner date with Felicity.

“Should I make dinner or are you bringing something home?”

“It’s up to you. If you want to cook, by all means, but if not, then call me and I’ll bring something home.”

“Ok.” I kissed her again and walked out of the house.

My neighbor waved to me as he saw me and I waved back. I got into my car and drove to work.

Upon arrival to my office, my assistant came in and handed me a folder. She then locked the door and closed the blinds. I looked up at her and smiled as she sat down.

“Is this another deep conversation about your fiancé?” I asked her. “If it is, I’m out of tissue so you’ll have to grab a box from the supply room.”

“No, it’s not. You were right though. I told him everything you suggested and I think things will be better.” She replied.

“I’m glad to hear that.” I looked at the folder and opened it. “So these are the prenup documents?”

“Yes. I wanted you to go over it to see if I left anything out.” I read over it and nodded.

“Looks like you covered everything. I just hope your love for this man is worth the risk. Having no job and no goals is one hell of a personality flaw. Is he really that good in the sheets?”

“Mr. Jones,” she said in sarcastic shock, “sex is not the determining factor here.”

“Well it sure isn’t his money. I’ve seen what he looks like and it’s why I believe in evolution.” I said, making her laugh. “Look, all that matters is your happiness.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jones.” She stood up and started to walk towards the door.

“By the by, what time is the conference?” I asked her.

“It’s at 10.”

“Thank you.”

I logged onto my computer, waiting on the door to open and close due to my assistant leaving. I didn’t hear it, so I looked up and saw her with her blouse open and titties exposed. I didn’t say anything. I just sat back with my finger over my mouth and hand on my chin, enjoying what I was looking at. She walked around my desk to get up close with me. I turned towards her and welcomed her as she straddled me.

“You’ve been real good to me the past two years. You’ve helped me in a lot of ways.” She stated. “I want to thank you.”

“This is one hell of a way to thank me.” I replied.

“I know we both want the same thing. I realize you’re married and I’m engaged, but….”

I started kissing her. Things got intense real quick. She got off me and helped herself to my dick. I watched her as she went to town. Not a single bit of shyness there. She went at it for a couple minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted her bad. I stopped her and lifted her up. I sat her on my desk, reached into my drawer and pulled out a condom. I put it on and slowly entered her. Her moans picked up volume the deeper I went (and she’s tighter than I expected). I started slowly for the first few minutes. Her moans picked up even more volume. I pulled her up and carried her to the couch. With her legs on my shoulder, I made her scream with each thrust…..

After my conference, I headed back to my office to wrap up some loose ends before lunch. I sat at my desk and started working on a few documents when my assistant called.

“Yes?” I replied as I pushed the speaker button.

“Your wife is on line 1.” She informed me.

“Thank you.” I picked up the phone and pressed line 1. “Hey, baby, what’s up?”

“Do you think you can be home earlier than 8?” She asked me.

“I don’t know, why?” I asked. She sounded different. “Is everything ok?”

“I need to talk to you. It’s very important and I would like to talk to you over dinner.”

“I can try to be there at 7, is that ok?”

“I was hoping for 6, but 7 is fine.”

“How about 6:30?” I asked.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“Ok. Love you.”

“Love you too.” I hung up and called Felicity.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hey, I’mma have to cancel our dinner plans.” I told her.

“Marcus, you know I’ve been waiting for this day for weeks.” She cried.

“I know. My wife needs to talk to me about something important.” I told her. “I told her I’ll be home at 6:30.”

“Can’t we at least have dessert?”

I smiled and said, “Absolutely. I can be there at about 5.”

“Can’t wait.”

I hung up with her and looked at the time. I locked my computer and left my office.

“Tracie, I’m going to lunch. You want anything?” I asked my assistant.

“I’m fine. I think you gave me enough.” She joked.

“I’ll bring ya back some cheesecake. Any emergencies call my cell.” I said as I entered the elevator.

“Have a good lunch.” She yelled to me as the doors closed.

I knocked on the door of Sinclair’s apartment. No reply. I knocked again.

“Who is it?” She yelled through the door.

“Casey.” I replied.

She doesn’t know my real name and I intend to keep it that way. Bitch is possessive. She stays far on the other side of town, but she thinks I’m right down the street. If her cooking wasn’t so good, I wouldn’t fuck with her. The sex ain’t bad either.

She opened the door with a big smile on her face. I walked in, smiling right back at her. The apartment was drowning in a mouthwatering aroma. Plates were set on the table along with roses and candles.

“You went all out for a lunch.” I told her.

“I love when you’re here.” She replied. She gave me a hug and tried pulling off my pants.

“I thought we were going to eat first.” I said, grabbing a hold of my pants.

“We are. I want to smell your dick.” She proclaimed.

Told you she’s crazy. I moved my hands away and let her smell. Of course I washed after fuckin Tracie. Think I’m stupid?

“While you’re down there, you can hook a brother up.” I suggested.

“That’s for later.” She said, standing back up.

“You’re a tease, Sinclair.” I pulled up my pants and sat down. “How was work?”

“You don’t give a damn about my job, so I don’t know why you ask.”

“Conversation builder mainly. I like hearing your voice.”

“You’ll hear plenty of it after lunch.” She said, referring to the event taking place after lunch.

“No problem. I’ll let ya be.” She sat down across from me and we ate in mostly peace.

Then out of nowhere, “So when are you going to move in with me?” She asked. I started choking because she said this as I was drinking.

“Move in?” I repeated, still trying to clear my throat. “I’ve known you for two weeks.”

“So? I don’t want to be away from you.”

“Understandable, but let’s take it slow.” I started eating again.

After a half hour of tapping that ass, I snuck out of the apartment while she was sleep. Before leaving I grabbed the cheesecake she made me (no way I was leaving that. Her cheesecake is bomb. I think there might be crack in it).  When I got back to the office, Tracie was writing down another message for me. I placed half the cheesecake on her desk and waited til she got off the phone. When she did, she handed me a sticky note.

“Those are all of your messages.” She said. She grabbed the pan of cheesecake. “Is this from the same woman from last week?”

“Yep.” I said, reading my messages.

“This is so good. I swear she puts crack in it.” She stated. I nodded in agreement.

“How do you feel about going to Miami?” I asked her. She looked up at me wide eyed. “For business.”

“I’d love to.”

“That’s what this may be about.” I walked to my office. Tracie followed me.

“What’s in Miami that you would need me for?” She asked.

“Now Tracie, you know how important you are to me. I’m a forgetful sum bitch. I need you to keep tabs on everything.” I picked up the phone and called my boss. “Hey, sir, it’s Marcus Jones. I’m returning your call.”

“Ahh, yes, Marcus. How are you doing, son?” He asked me.

“I’m good, sir. How are you? How was Dallas?”

“I’m good. Dallas was good. We have a lot of proposals that I’m proud of.”

“That’s always good to hear.”

“Yes it is. The reason I was calling you was I want you to take my place in Miami. I have to be in Phoenix that same weekend. Think you can handle that?”

“It’ll be my honor, sir.”

“Good man. I know I can count on you. I will email you the specifics. Your trip is for this coming weekend.”

“Thank you, sir. I will not let you down.”

“I know you won’t. Good luck to you.”

“Thank you, sir. Enjoy Phoenix.” I hung up the phone and walked to my refrigerator. I pulled out a bottle of wine. “Care to celebrate?”

“Absolutely.” She grabbed two glasses.

“I’m finally getting my opportunity. If this goes well, we’re talking about a big promotion.”

“How big?”

“Head of the division.”

“I’ll toast to that!” She said, tapping my glass. “So when are we leaving?” She asked after taking a sip.

“This weekend. Probably Friday night.” I replied.

“You going to pick me up?”

“In a limo.”

“Nice. I can’t wait. I should call my fiancé.”

She scurried to her desk to make the call. I sat at my desk with a smile on my face. I logged into my computer and saw the email with the details. I opened it and read it. It was definitely my opportunity to shine.

It was a quarter to 5 when I called it a day. Tracie and I locked up the office and left together. I walked her to her car and watched her leave (like I do every day). When I got in my car, my cell phone started ringing. It was Felicity.

“Hey, what’s up?” I answered.

“I just wanted to make sure you were still on your way.” She replied.

“I’m on my way right now. I just got off and in the car.”

“How long?”

“Should be there in 15.”

“Ok. See you then.”

I hung up with her and started driving. I started to get a feeling that maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. Then I started to wonder what my wife needed to talk to me about. Is it possible she came across something? How would she? The only ones that I’ve been with that even know who I am are Tracie and Felicity. I know Felicity isn’t stupid enough to do some shit like that. It bugged me the entire ride to Felicity’s house. I didn’t even realize I was there until she opened the door. She was wearing a bathrobe.

“Please, come in.” She said, taking my hand.

“Don’t mind if I do.” I closed and locked the door. “I wasn’t expecting to take a bath.” I said, looking at her bathrobe.

“I just got out of a bath.” She said. “I shaved for you and everything. Feel.” She pulled my arm around her and made me feel. Silky smooth.

“Nice.”

She turned her head and started kissing me. She then turned her body towards me and undressed me. I took her robe off and carried her to the bed.

An hour later, I started getting dressed to get home. She sat up and wrapped her arms around me.

“Marcus, I want to tell you something.” She said softly in my ear.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked, buttoning my shirt.

“You’ve always been the best lover I’ve had. Ever since high school.”

“Yea.”

“It’s my fault that I’m not married to you now instead of Telisha. I’ve regretted it for years and been grateful I still get to have you every once in a while.”

“Ok.” I stood up to look in the mirror and tie my tie.

“Marcus, I’m still deeply in love with you. I haven’t been with any other man for the past 15 months. I’ve seriously reserved myself for you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I want to be with you and only you.”

“What are you requesting exactly?”

“I want you to leave your wife for me.”

“I don’t think I can do that.”

“Why not? You don’t love her.”

“You’re wrong about that. I love her very much.”

“If you did, then why are you here with me?” I turned and looked at her.

“Good point.” I grabbed my suit jacket.

“Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“It’s ok. I have to go anyway.”

“Are we still going to Miami this weekend?” She asked me. I completely forgot about that.

“Nah, I have a business trip this weekend. It just came up today.”

“I thought it was to Miami?”

“It’s Phoenix now.”

“When will you be back?”

“When I get back.” I told her. I walked out of the room and to the front door.

“Are you going to call me?” She asked following me to the front door.

“Don’t I always?” I kissed her cheek and walked out of the house.

As I was driving home, I couldn’t help but wonder what Telisha wanted to talk about. My heart started racing as I approached my home….

As I walked into the house, I saw nothing but a candle-lit table. I walked towards the table and locked eyes with my wife.  A plate was set at my spot on the table, but I was more concerned about the look of discourage that was dominating my wife’s face. What’s on her mind right now? What is she about to say? Question upon question was piling up in my head.

“Sorry I’m late.” I said as I approached her and kissed her. She kissed me back but I could feel the disconnect. Fuck.

“You’re actually right on time.” She said softly. “Please, join me.”

As I sat down, I swear there was a cloud of pure tension floating in the room. A hurricane was coming and the only thing I could do was brace for impact. She kept it to herself, though, as she started to eat. I did the same as I continually looked at her.

“So how was your day?” She asked me.

“It was good. I have a big promotional opportunity ahead of me by going to Miami this weekend.” I replied.

“Miami?” She said, finally showing a different emotion. “Is that the opportunity you were really hoping for?”

“Yea. It finally happened.”

“That’s fantastic baby. How long will you be gone?”

“I’ll be back late Sunday evening.”

“Okay. Sounds like it’ll be an amazing opportunity.”

“It is. This time next week, I hope to be the new president of our defense division.”

“That would be great! I’m really happy for you.” I didn’t like how she said that.

“Us, baby. This is a great thing for us.”

“Us….” She stopped eating and took a sip of her drink…. “Us is a very fluid word right now.”

“Fluid?” I repeated.

“I have something that I need to tell you and I don’t know how to say it..”

“Just say it.” I told her.

“I’m trying.” I could see her eyes water up… Fuck, what is she about to say that has her so emotional. On top of that, why is she so emotional? “God, why is this so hard to say…” She took a deep breath, “okay…” She looked at me with a serious face, but tears were still streaming down. “I’m pregnant with another man’s baby.”

Silence…..

“I’m sorry,” I chuckled, “what the fuck you just say?”

“I’m pregnant, Marcus, and you are not the father.” She repeated with a little more confidence that kinda pissed me off.

“You don’t fuckin say….” I stood up and walked over to the bar. I poured a shot, took the shot, poured another shot, took that one too, and then stared at my wife. “So who is the father?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter.” She stated. “I just felt you….”

“Fuck what you feel,” I interrupted her, “I want to know who the father is!!” She paused for a moment and then answered me.

“Nick is the father.” She finally replied.

“Nick? The guy from Wal-Mart?” I asked in defense.

“Yes, the guy from Wal-Mart.” She said softly.

“Well that escalated rather quickly. Didn’t think you’d go from friends to having a kid together in a matter of weeks.”

“What are you talking about? I’ve known him for 8 years. I just happened to run into him a few weeks ago.” She corrected me.

“So I take it you already have your things packed?” I wondered.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you didn’t think you’d be still living here after saying some shit like that?”

“Oh…. No, I didn’t, but I’ve had the luxury of being here by myself for so many days and so many hours that I’ve managed to move out without you noticing it.” Okay, that statement bothers me…. This must be pretty damn premeditated… Like several months premeditated.

“So you’ve been planning to leave me for quite some time huh… This pregnancy was just the icing on the cake.” I concluded.

“I know you love me, Marcus, but I also know you’ve been fucking other women.” Saw that one coming. “I had a private investigator following you a couple months ago and he showed me all of the pictures and videos of you with about 4 different women.” I knew I was being followed… That’s what I get for ignoring my instincts. “Here.”

She handed me her phone. A video was up, waiting on me to press play. Damn, which woman am I with in this video? I pressed play and started watching…… Wow, this investigator has one hell of a good camera. This quality and clarity is almost like he was in the room. I couldn’t see any faces yet, but there was the body of a naked woman. Definitely dwindled down the options on who this woman could be. The woman had a body similar to my wife, so that’s two women I fuck often that would fit. The woman started walking towards the camera…. Wait, is this a personal video?? I looked at Telisha and saw nothing but hate in her eyes. She wasn’t showing it clearly, but I know her too well to not recognize it. This is revenge.

“Don’t stop watching before you see what you’ve done.” It was at that moment, when I looked at the video, I saw something that brought a wave of emotion. Telisha was sucking another man’s dick…. “No!!” She yelled as she saw me look away. “You will continue to watch!!” I stared into her eyes as the anger turned to hurt and tears were welling in her. I looked at the video and witnessed my wife getting fucked by another man…. Listening to her moan, recognizing each orgasm she was having….

“You’ve made your point.” I said, slightly choked up, as I slid her phone back to her.

“Oh I very much doubt that.” She contested. “I had to watch you fuck multiple women and it felt like my heart was going to explode! The amount of pain I felt…. The betrayal…. Oh I wish I could make you feel how I felt!”

“Would that satisfy you? Would that make everything easier for you to deal with?”

“What’s it to you?” She snapped back. “I’m not entertaining you with a reply.”

“Ok.” I stood up and started walking towards the bedroom.

“Yes, avoid dealing with me like you always have.” She said softly.

“I’m sorry, is there something you want me to say?” I asked.

“How about showing that you actually give a shit?!” She shouted as she stood up.

“That would be pretty hard to do when, at this point, I don’t give a shit!!” I yelled back. “You think you succeeded in something by trying to inflict pain on me as a revenge plot but I’m sorry to inform you that it didn’t work. In fact, all you did was show me how petty and trifilin you are!”

“I’m trifling?!” She definitely took appropriate offense to that.

“You found what you were looking for. Congratulations! You felt I was cheating, you got your proof of that, but instead of just leaving or confronting me about it, you decide to not only fuck someone else, but get pregnant by him AND on top of that you had the audacity to record the two of you just to shove it in my face! Yea, that’s some conniving, trifling, cold shit that puts you in a category all by yourself. Feel like you’ve won all you want because this is a victory I definitely don’t want.” I continued walking into the room, grabbed my travel bag and went to the front door. “I expect my keys on the counter accompanied by papers for me to sign and you no longer in this house when I get back from Miami.”

I opened the door and slammed it behind me. As I walked to my car, tears were formulating in my eyes and started slowly falling as I got in my car. I sat there for a moment, attempting to gather my thoughts. I wasn’t ready for this… I didn’t see anything like this coming… What do I do? Where am I going? At that moment, I got a text. Reluctant, I grabbed my phone and looked to see who it was. It was just a number; A number I didn’t recognize. I opened the text message and read it.

“Hey Marcus, its Leela. Do you remember me?” The text read. Leela…. Leela… Why isn’t that name registering? As I continued to think about it, I started my car and began heading downtown. I need a drink.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you. Could you please refresh?” I texted back.

“We had a one night stand during a business trip last year. We stayed at the same hotel in Philly.” She texted back a minute later. I thought about it and then it hit me.

“Oh yea, I do remember! Wow, it’s been a while. How have you been?” I replied.

“I’ve been well. I’m actually in your town on business and wanted to see if you were available for a drink?” She texted back.

“Perfect timing. What hotel are you staying at?”

“I’m at the Downtown Marriott.”

“Word. I’ll meet you at the Sideline Lounge in 15. You’re right across the street from it.”

“Sounds great! See you then!”

Talk about great timing. I badly needed a drink and a distraction. As I headed to the lounge, I started remembering my time with Leela. She’s this 5’7”, athletic toned woman that travels probably twice as much as I do. We were both at a conference in Philly when we first met. I approached her as we were leaving and we immediately hit it off. We had a few drinks together that night and then had sex all night: An unforgettable experience. We fell asleep at 9am and when I woke up 2 hours later she was already gone, leaving nothing but a thank you note. It’s funny though, I don’t remember giving her my number. Maybe she swiped one of my business cards.

Within 15 minutes, I approached the Sideline Lounge, a place that I’ve frequented so often that I have my own parking space. I parked in it, got out my car and walked to the front door. I dapped up the bouncer and looked towards the bar. I recognized her around the same time she recognized me. As I walked to her, she stood up.

“It’s nice to see you again.” I said to her as I hugged her and kissed her cheek.

“You too.” She replied.

“You look amazing. I’m glad traveling hasn’t aged you.”

“It’s hard to age when you’re treated to the life of luxury on a daily.” She replied. Yea, still a diva. “You look great as well but I see stress in your eyes, marinating in pain.”

“Is it that noticeable?” I said as I sat down.

“So much so that the first shot and drink is on me.” She said as the bartender brought over two shot glasses and two cocktails. “Still a crown and coke man?” I started to grin.

“Always.”

“First a shot of 1800 to loosen us up.” She said as she placed the shot in front of me and held hers as if she was waiting on me. I cracked another smile and picked up the glass. “Let’s leave our stresses at the door and just enjoy the night.”

“I concur.” I said with a grin. “Cheers.” We tapped glasses and knocked them back.

A couple of hours pass by and we’re pretty drunk by now. There’s been nothing but drinking and laughing for almost the entire time we’ve been here. I almost forgot how funny this woman is, especially the more she drinks.

“I think the best office prank I pulled,” She began, “had to be when I programmed the main copier to print a watermark saying “BALLS” on everything that prints from there. You wanna talk about an uproar during every conference.” We both laughed at that as she imitated her boss’s reactions.

“That is a good one!” I complimented. “I think my best office prank would have to be whenever we had video conference calls, chin balls would “magically” appear on each person that appeared on the screen and pussy lips would be their mouths. You wanna talk about some weird and funny shit!” As the visuals of that crept into her head more and more, the more she laughed.

“Did you have pubic hairs all over their mouths as well?”

“Hells yea! The whole 9!”

“Oh my god! That’s classic! How did you do that?”

“Nope, trade secret.”

“Dick!” We both laughed more as another round of shots were placed in front of us. We tapped glasses and stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before we knocked them back. It was becoming obvious what we were both thinking.

“Jim,” I called for the bartender, “I’d like to close out my tab.”

“You’re good.” He replied.

“Shall we take this to your room?” I asked.

“Yes we should, but you have to promise not to leave me while I’m sleeping.”

“Deal.” She took my hand and we walked, slightly stumbling, to her hotel room.

As we stumbled into her room, laughing at our failure to really maintain dignity, I held her up as much as possible as she turned on lights. I closed and locked the door and glanced at myself in the big mirror. What have I done? What am I doing? I really didn’t like what I saw. I started having regrets. What was I doing here?  I need to go home. I looked at Leela, ready to tell her that I can’t be here…..