Posts

Stories and Poems

Lost (Poem)

Walking in the desert sands, surrounded by the swirling wind Grasping my arms tightly with my hands, asking when this will all end Nothing around but the shadow of a man, not broken but left with quite a bend How did it become so difficult to stand? When did the disorientation begin? As the wind begins to subside and the dust clears the skies, the sun comes clear again The body continues to dry, the heat continued to rise and I feared touching my skin I knew if I felt the heat, my mind would get weak, leaving me with a task I can’t complete This journey wasn’t for fun and until this shit is done, I go on even at the cost of sleep I’m lost somewhere out here, I know I’m somewhere near yet some asshole is blocking my ability to see No amount of kicking and screaming can stop me from succeeding not while my disappearance is still a mystery I checked the highs and lows, my peak may be a mountain and my depression the depth of an ocean but when I’m at a  loss
Post a Comment
Proceed »

Passive

It is what it is, can’t do anything about it… Stare at the ceiling, smothered in silence and darkness… Last conversation pops into my mind along with my tamed reaction… Chained to my past while being cuffed to my infatuations… Losing the battle to minimize my internal frustrations… What has me so agitated, relentlessly seeking favorable relations… Desires and temptations; enhancing every trivial sensation… Eyes no longer looking forward, but oscillating every other direction… Movements stopped, held down by my own projection…   It is what it is, can’t do anything about it… Stare at the wall, enchanted by birds and daylight… Last conversation remains in my head when I snapped out of spite… Released from my shackles of passiveness to argue that I’m right… Losing the battle to stay silent; nah, I’m good on another fight… What has me so calm, relentlessly staying quite the whole night… Respect and understanding; neglecting my very plight… Eyes looking forw
Post a Comment
Proceed »

Late Night Senses

0200; Sunday on the east, Saturday on the west… 3, 4, 5 drinks in; actually behind my norms but jump startin my bets… I’m good though, I’m on point; Able to dot my Es and cross my Ss… I see you at my door; hotel room but you’re knocking, wearing a burgundy dress… The first thing I want to do is kiss you; I want to taste your entire essence… I hear about your night, your day and weekend plans; shit don’t think about sex… We’re here, we’re feeling it; no more dreams, it’s time for real shit… But the things that I’m signing for aren’t even on my billing list… Or is it a subscription, I can’t keep track of all these issues… I just know a nanosecond doesn’t pass by without me completely missing you…     No, I completely hear you, even understand the distance and hear your complaints… But you’re not hearing me, for every second I miss you, a spasm digs into my taint… Lil wrong, sex is 4 th on my mind; nothing said can clearly give you a pic to paint… I can talk a
Post a Comment
Proceed »

Flaws

Starts really simple before it reaches a peak… Ignoring your story from the moment you start to speak… Thinking about nothing but the bouncing of your cheeks… Angered and flustered by the words passing your beak… Calling you a bird, maybe I did that in the lowest of key… Which brings us to me, flawed in my tact to approach a deity… Staring at the wall, looking for the answers that should be in front of me… Left with an impression that the answers were hidden underneath… The wall, a euphemism for the depth my skin is enveloping…   I start with me, so reckless in my spectacles of affection shows…. So limitless in actions designed to sweep you off your toes… Drowning in moments that dazzle you; whip you into euphoria… Deeply penetrating your soul, impregnating it with my aura… Leaving you with bits and pieces of me that you’ll never get rid of… Not the type you have to nurture, but the culmination of intricacies that is our love… Even being nonchalant, I en
Post a Comment
Proceed »

Nonchalant

Defined as feeling casually calm or relaxed, or appearing as so… Not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm; been that way for decades… Good with you or without you; truth, but not something I want you to know… Stretch the truth; provide some proof of being the best choice you ever made… Express my interest, develop the love you can’t resist; Begin to believe I need you… But the need is a strong want; either way it goes the love and hurt will fade… That’s the intention, whole point of being nonchalant is hiding what’s actually true… I see how this sounds and I’m aware of the fact that this is a double-edged blade… Yet I remain nonchalant, protecting myself from further shame…   I love you, there’s no reservation or ability for you to be replaced… The place I have in my heart for you is more than just reserved space… The reason for the space goes beyond the attraction to your face… Or the attraction to your body that my hands manage to embrace… Your voic
Post a Comment
Proceed »

Suppressed

No deep thoughts arriving, so I write this completely free hand... Avoiding the pitfalls of thinking with my head below my waist band... The idea of being free, relaxes me like my feet massaging the sand... Trapped in my own mind, thinking of the negative shit that occurred in my life span... Ignoring the glimmers of happiness, shunning the lights of love... Why do I feel the need to choose A, B or C instead of all the above... I felt it long ago, yet was too scared to touch it, deciding to wear a glove... "With this I protect myself", that's the thought I embraced as my heart was being tugged... You're lying to yourself, the feeling that you suppressed was only meant to be held steady for a moment or two... Now you're on 9 or 10, there's no way this suppression can remain inside of you... You have to let it out, absorb the very things you decided to suppress, even if it's more than you can chew... Anything leftover will still rest in
Post a Comment
Proceed »

Untitled Poem

I am my biggest enemy… More than any other entity… No matter what I see, where I be, there’s just no pleasing me… Happy for a moment when I share my company yet still feel lonely… Too busy blaming myself, drowning in my own self-loathing… I’m either lashing out at others or playing the game of “Avoiding”… Avoiding the questions; avoiding giving answers; avoiding recognizing that I’m avoiding… Taking up residence in that dark place; located up the hill from the sunken place… That’s probably the only bright spot that can cause a smile to creep on my face… But wait… why am I here anyway? What brought me this low and kept me against my will? Eyes water to the point that they fill and the water spill… As the water falls, the break begins and I let it win… Down I crumble, words come as a mumble and the anxiety sets in… Then I stop… Continue to break…Stop……. Then I grin… All of this to reset and start again… The smile returns with anxiousness to share, optimism
Post a Comment
Proceed »

33

I want to speak my mind and heart. I turned 33 10-days ago and the only thing that I felt was emptiness. I've been struggling all my life on what I want to do in my life and the more I think about it, the more lost I become. Being alone in the southwest doesn't help things as I feel like I miss everything. Everything started so well on May 4th and then went to shit. I haven't been stressed like this in a long ass time and I truly felt myself breaking down. Every day I ask myself the same handful of questions, unable to get any answers. Combine that with how things are in the rest of the country, I've truly lost desire to remain in this world as a human being. No joke, I really have a hate for humans, it's weird. Obviously not all, but enough to make me detest this world. I'm not going to go through every single thing that is going on for anyone to really understand what I mean, but it's truly frustrating how the human nature can be. That as
Post a Comment
Proceed »

The Owner of My Soul: Vol 4 - Preview

CHAPTER 1 AFTER SILK’S DEATH I watched the ambulance leave as the crime scene was being quarantined. I zoned out during the initial process of cops arriving, taking pictures and doing the whole “cop thing”. I didn’t really snap back until I saw EMTs placing Silk’s lifeless body in a body bag. Investigators and Detectives approached me, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Scratch that, it wasn’t that I wasn’t in the mood; I literally couldn’t formulate a proper sentence. I was in shock. They quickly realized that I was in no condition to answer questions, so they left me with contact info for me to utilize when I finally could speak. I finally managed to get into my car and leave her place. I didn’t know where I was going to go at first as I started driving. There was no way I could go home right now. I didn’t expect to feel so distraught; never realizing my own admiration for her. Why didn’t I realize it before? No sense in dwelling on it now. For now, I need to clear my head.
Post a Comment
Proceed »

The Heirs - Chapter 1 Preview

"Dragon King?” Dovik stated as if he didn’t quite hear Moq correctly. “I was under the impression that dragons were a myth.” “So were we until Aleius discovered a hive in the Easter Desert.” Moq replied. “A hive?” Dovik looks at Moq in disbelief. “How did he discover a hive?” “I say discover but more like fell into their hive. While we were training in the desert, he fell into a sand pit and was trapped for 3-days.” We watched the dragon fly around in a circle. “I’m still unsure of what actually happened down there but when he emerged from a cave on the back of a dragon… It was the most unreal thing I’ve ever seen.” “He didn’t tell you what happened?” Dovik wondered. “I asked him but he wouldn’t tell me. If you ask me, I think it traumatized him.” Moq looks at Dovik. “But it also empowered him.” As they continued to observe the dragon, thoughts started running through Dovik’s head. He wasn’t sure if he should ask the questions that he was thinking of but, at the same time, h
Post a Comment
Proceed »